falloutgirl4you

So without the scale for 2 weeks I kept thinking if i eat that I will definantly regret it come when i step on that scale. I have been working so hard and I think it just took that extra boost of motivation to get up and get started again. So now this morning when I stepped on the scale I thought…”Okay don’t beat yourself up about this if it is bad…Just keep working like you have been doing and know you are doing the right things. 209.4!! Im under 210 again! YAY! I am so happy I have not ate any fast food for the past 2 weeks, Also I have been crazy about my new elliptical! I love my elliptical! I can’t wait until this summer then I can buy that bike I’ve longed for all winter long. Since we got about 6-7 inches of snow yesterday it seems to be so far away!!! But I will be much happier once all the snow melts and I can workout outside again! Well off to do my workout, I wanted to workout for 1.5 hours today My Elliptical for an hour and then do my biggest loser Power Sculpt dvd. I want to thank all of you for all of your lovely support and motivation and can’t wait for more to help kepp me going on this wonderful journey! LOOK I HAVE A GREEN STAR NOW!!

I’m so incredibly proud of myself, I have not even peeked at the scale for 7 DAYS!! I usually check it almost every day, if not twice a day! I made a promise to myself I would not weigh myself for at least 2 weeks. I’m thinking depending on how tempted I am I might not weigh myself for a month. I have been so tempted because I have been working out the past 2 weeks at least 5 days a week for 1 hour each day. I’m so proud of myself. My fiance is now 197lbs so he surpassed me and is now 13lbs less than me!! I want to kick his butt! So I need to work my hardest…I feel like 1 hour a day isn’t enough.

I would like to start maybe next week doing 2 hours a day. Maybe an hour in the morning and an hour at night. If I have time. I have to think of my reasoning for doing all of this to keep me motivated. I can’t wait to see my results on the scale after the next week. Only 7 more days to go!

Alright well…I am down 2 more that is the great news I had this week! Out of the past 10 days I have worked out 8 of them! Im so proud of myself since I’ve been back on the wagon. Also I’ve been eating enough calories and havent ate out. Which is something hard for me to do…

Yesterday I went on my elliptical for 60 mins burned 450 calories. Im off to workout again today…. I want to beat that today.

Im pretty excited to see my weight tomorrow. I mean I worked out super hard this week along with eating healthier. We made a big decision to buy an elliptical yesterday. I used it for an hour yesterday!! Then a half hour today I also did a half hour Biggest Loser workout DVD In the past 7 days Ive worked out 6 of them… So im hoping for good results! If not I will be not be disapointed because I know that Ive tried very hard and know I will eventually reach my goal.

Anyways after tomorrow I will be hiding my scale for 2 weeks. A buddy suggested to do it for a month but I dont know if I can go without weighing myself for that long! I will have to see how it all goes.

I can’t believe how excited I am to weigh in… Wish me luck

Alright so this morning I woke up after being sooo Proud of myself for getting back on the wagon and Starting off to a new strong start after giving up weight loss for 3 weeks. I worked out for an hour yesterday and an hour on Thursday (weight was 210)- So of course I was thinking I just want to weigh myself cause Im probably at a loss…Nope of course not I weighed myself and to my suprise … A GAIN! …of 2lbs! I’m in shock right now. I dont’ know what to say right now except I need to get serious and start caring! I have less than a year to be super sexy in my wedding dress. Also I was talking to my friend Erica at work and she was talking to me about losing weight and she is super skinny and she asked me how much I want to lose by then I said at least 30lbs….I didnt want to tell her my real Goal - AT LEAST 50. She said she really doesnt get it cause she will gain/lose 5lbs but she doesn’t see it Then I told her that Ive lost over 20lbs already and she was like “Wow! That’s awesome!” I just don’t get it cause I got down to 206 at the beginning of Jan now Im back up at 212. I always get stuck I can’t get below 205. NOT JOKING - this has happened to me 3 times within the past 6 months. I seriously don’t know why I just give up…

It is like something inside me is saying “You can never do it!” Cause I get to this point and I get frustrated cause for 2  weeks I dont lose anything and then it starts going up. Grr!

 So Robbie(my fiancee) was changing yesterday and I was like “Holy crap you are getting skinny! I mean seriously hes lost like 5 inches off his waist!! I was like Geeze cause he DOESN’T exercise he’s just beeen eating healthier. He was like yeah Ive lost some weight. So then this morning when I went to weight myself and was mortified and crawled back into bed to curl up and lay there in self pity…he gets up cause he heard the wii turn on but didnt ask about my results but turns around and goes to weigh himself. He comes back in witha  huge smile on his face and stops abruptly when he sees my face. Tears streaming down I ask “How did you do?” his face turned from happiness to worry/regret in less than 2 seconds. He answered “Not bad, I don’t want to tell you though” I was curious and want to be happy for him, I just said ” I don’t mind, How did you do?”

Him- “Well Im overweight…”

Me-”Not obese anymore!? Thats good What’s your weight?”

“202…” He said and I could tell he was happy but was also feeling my pain at the same time! Him-”Well you have your period, you are probably just retaining a lot of water weight right now…you said your breasts hurt right?” Me- “Yeah..*sigh*” I feel bad that I brought him down, I mean that is so good that he has lost so  much! But the fact that my fiancee started at 224 3 months ago and is now at 202, never works out and has just changed his eating habits by a little bit. He packs a lunch and just has been eating a bit less. It makes me feel like a defective toy. Why can’t I do this? I hate feeling like this… I am back at obese 212… I need to lose 4lbs to be just overweight again, and 6lbs to be back where I was at the beginning of Jan. *SIGH*

Well I guess Im back on track and hoping for phenominal results next wednesday at my WEIGH IN!

Alright the last 3 weeks I would have to say have been such a blur. I got a bit off track and completely stopped working out. I slowly started eating out again- Id make up a lame excuse of why I couldn’t have made something then beg Robbie to pick me up something on his way home. Rediculous! Anyway I actually caught myself eating out 4 times the week after I got engaged! I was thinking about it and thought “What the heck are you trying to do? Eat yourself back to 232lbs?” and “What now that you are engaged weight loss isn’t your top priority?” OMG! What was I thinking. I mean with a wedding less than a year away I must be crazy to even think about eating fast food…

Anyways I bought a pedometer on Monday. I did 8,000 steps on Tuesday, I had forgot to wear it Wednesday and Today though. When I work in the mornings it is so incredibly hard for me to Remember things. Anyway I worked out for an hour on Tuesday then I worked out for an hour today! Im in love with working out. I forgot how much I missed it until today! I honestly get some sort of high from it.  I love love love the Elliptical. My daddy finally fixed the Elliptical - YAY!

So I am back on track and ready for my new challenge. Trying to lose enough weight to feel good enough to go try on wedding dresses… because as of now  -  not going to happen!

 I can’t wait till tomorrow morning when I get to workout again! YES!

Oh yeah also I refuse to weigh myself for at least for at least 2 weeks becaus eI definatly don’t need to be discouraged. Also if I gained any weight back! I would rather be ob livious to it. Also I have aunt flo here right now so it would most likely be a huge slap in the face. NO THANK YOU! So I will not change my weight or anything for a couple weeks. I can’t bare to see a gain!